The Adventure's Of Goat
I am a simple goat
I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The old man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he dont give a fuck
Hes filled with anger, and filled with rage
And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, jimmy bean
His chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
Thats when the beatings get so severe
Asleep I pray he falls
But dont feel sorry for me
Things werent always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
The old man was just like my dad
I come from the hills of europe
Thats where I met the old man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can
Then he stopped in his tracks
And he said, hey goat!
Would you like to live with me?
Ive got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea
I said, sure, why not, Ive got no family
You seem like a nice guy
So we went off to america
The home of the apple pie
On the boat, the old man told me
I would be a present for his wife
A talking goat! he exclaimed,
Shed never seen this in her life
I felt so special!
Well, I just couldnt believe it
After all theses years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard
He scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end
But when we got to his house
There was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said: Im leaving you for your broher
Because he fucks me better
His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief
To soothe himself he drank a pint of old granddad
And beat me like a side of beef
I screamed, send me back to the hills of europe!
He just shook his head and said, nope!
No one will ever leave me again
To make...
View Full Essay