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An Analysis Of The Behavior Of Dogs During Shitting

Thank you Alekx for pointing out the subtle fact that I 'glossed over' the part about Kiley having a shit attack on the way to Santa Rosa NM. Just when everyone thought I was out of titillating topics.... nope. There is always dog shit stories - a lot of dog shit stories. I was going to write about this later but in between ass chewing's and other work related things - this seems like an opportune time.

Kiley goes everywhere with me. She was my first attempt at fatherhood and admittedly I made a few mistakes. She is slightly spoiled. According to wifey, she's a bitch - this is something I can't dispute. Whatever - I tried. She didn't come with an owners manual. Neither did wifey..... I seem to be doing alright.

Anyways, on the way out to Santa Rosa NM we had a little 'issue'. Kiley rides shotgun - always. It could be God himself asking for a ride. He would have to ride in the back seat. This isn't because Kiley is spoiled. No, I do this because it's important for me to be able to see her. Let me explain.

Kiley sleeps for about 90% our travels. She only wakes up for cattle, gophers, dad having road rage, and to shit. The only thing she is remotely subtle about is giving me signs that she has to poop. The only way I can tell is too look at her ears and eyes. Most times she has beautiful princess eyes that say "I love you dad.... you are the best..... what would I do without you". If her ears are standing up at the same time - that's what she means. However, if her left ear is slightly cocked off - that means "Dad.... I love you, but I'm about to have a shit attack like you have never witnessed. You better pull this fucking pickup over and quickly because I'm about to rocket shit everywhere".

Those were the signs I seen while going through a small west TX town. From many prior experiences I knew I had about 12 seconds. Unluckily for the townspeople of this little village, I noticed these signs while pulling up the 4 way stop in the middle of town. No one...