Suicide
Some thoughts sneak into our mind without us even knowing it, and others are already in there. Music is one of the many things that trigger this knowledge, or it draws past event knowledge to the surface. In this selection I will be discussing the concept of my suicide incident and what happened when such a small thing as turning on the car ends up in someone standing up on a window wishing there life was no longer.
Starting with Monday morning, May 12, 2005, it was like any other morning. I got up at 9:15 am, made the bed, fed the dog, and brushed my teeth while my Yorkshire terrier ate her pedigree. I got dressed and took her to Barrington elementary so she could do her business, after putting on the same blue leash I have put on her every morning since she was a puppy three years ago. Standing in the morning sunlight while she sniffed for the perfect spot, my mind was free of thoughts, or so I thought.
When she finished with her morning ritual, I took her into the house, gave her a pat on the head, and grabbed my running shoes. By then my mind was still empty and as I walked to my mother’s car, hit the automatic unlock button, and waited for her to put the key in the ignition so we could be on our way to the YMCA. She turned the key one click and the electric system forced the radio to blast into our ears.
Simultaneously, thoughts I wasn’t aware were there came to the surface as I listened to Z-ro’s “T.H.U.G.”. It made me think back to the summer of 2005, when so many problems were present in my life and I nearly ended my life at the Capital Village apartments here in Austin, Texas.
Starting in the days of June my head was everywhere. Family, school, and money were troubles that were completely stressful, around the first week, things got worse. We were now in serious debt and had no transportation to where I would be able to get to school safely. At the time I didn’t know how to ride the bus so things were even more...
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